“What really matters is what you like, not what you are like. Books, records, films – these things matter. Call me shallow, but it’s the fucking truth.” -Rob Gordon in High Fidelity It’s advice I often give to my friends when they are considering the pros and cons of a partner or potential partner while stumbling through the minefield that is dating. It becomes especially true when viewed as encompassing more than just our taste in entertainment; but for a first date, it really is a good starting point. To recap on last month’s article, each member of a couple […]
Christina Noel MitchellChristina Mitchell is a former biologist and horse trainer, now a massage therapist who also runs a play cafe in Portland, Oregon with her twin sister. She's digs travel, adventure, science, space, music, movies, books, ideas, and the human condition.
Are any of us really good at relationships? I think it is easier for some people to find a partner and even to be in a relationship, but “easier” is terribly relative. Even the best is still fumbling in the dark when it comes to navigating the needs and desires and reciprocal fumblings of another person. Three out of ten achieve happy longevity with their partner… that’s how much we all suck at it: thirty percent, and that thirty percent still goes through heart-wrenching trials and tribulations. There is hope in that thirty percent, though. It means that happy coupledom […]
Two words: Love and Community. Where do the two meet? It strikes me that without love, there is no community, in the most fundamental sense. Love (of the romantic variety) gives way to partnership and children and growing families to extended families to villages to towns to commerce to cities to countries and so forth. Then there are all the little communities within a community: the churches, the retirement homes, the neighborhood watches, the D&D groups, the cribbage clubs, the weekly soccer match, fill in the blank. Aren’t they all based, at least in part, on some form of love? Part of […]
When we are at ease with someone, we know it without question. It isn’t usually a thing we learn or find out about a partner: it’s something that we know almost as soon as we meet the person. The really great part is that they tend to be feeling it as well, and if we enjoy healthy relationships, we stay together and make it work even when things get tough because we know we’ve found something special. Very often though, when we feel ill-at-ease with someone, we ignore the instinct and instead of finding someone with whom we do feel […]