I spend most of my days so exhausted it is literally difficult to breathe. It’s getting hard to turn my head. The tension is so bad I’m just in pain all the time. Last year at this time I was training for a half-marathon and eating with intention to fuel my body. But I haven’t been able to work out for months. I’ve lost weight, I’ve lost strength, I’ve lost energy. Even during the rare moments when I can forget about the illness, it’s there in the back of my mind. Shoulders weighed down. Tears forming. I’m not sick. But […]
Mindy Kay SmithMindy Kay Smith is the Mommy behind ThoroughlyModernMommy.com When she's not at PTA meetings, she's teaching performing arts throughout the greater NYC area.
As a person who suffers from depression and anxiety, I understand how important it is for me to stick to routines. There are days when I literally have to look at my morning routine and check each item just to know how to function. Make coffee. Take meds. Check calendar. Get dressed. In fact, whether or not I’m following my routines is usually an indication of my mental health. When I’m healthy, I stay the course. When I’m not, I try to wing it. Similarly, when I follow my routines, I stay well. When I ignore them, I slip more […]
Sometimes I wonder what it might be like to have a “typical” child. A child who lines up with the norms and follows the rules. I wonder how it would feel to post smug memes about how misbehaved children are always the parents’ fault. Always. And to read parenting books and have them work and then pat myself on the back because look at what a great job I’m doing! I wonder what it would feel like to visit school for a PTA event and not feel like “that mom.” The one who can’t control her kid. I’ve fantasized about going places […]
Depression is a liar. That’s one of the first lessons I learned with my very first therapist. It’s still, by its very nature, the hardest to remember. But keeping depression in check by recognizing it for the lying liar it is can sometimes be the difference between sickness and health. The worst lie depression can tell us is that we should hide. Depression says that no one wants to hear our troubles. That no one wants to hang with us because we’re just a bummer. That people will judge us if we share how much we’re suffering. They’ll think we’re […]
I am really good at large-scale projects. I have started a theatre company, written a book, and earned two Masters degrees. When directing a musical, I know how long it will take to block each scene, learn each song, and load in for tech. I can practically write curricula in my sleep. I don’t explain all of this to boast. I offer it instead as a contrast to my greatest weakness: Small tasks. Give me a major assignment and I will deliver. Ask me to clean the kitchen, and I will stand paralyzed with a dish rag in my hand […]