As a life and career coach, I’m supposed to have my shit together.
But I don’t.
I don’t make enough money to pay my bills. I don’t eat right. I don’t have a life partner. I’ll never be in shape the way I was when I was swimming 4 miles a day. Or when I was training for a marathon.
It’s beyond embarrassing to admit this—that I don’t have my shit together— yet, it’s so, so necessary.
All these “shoulds” and “supposed tos” have stood between me … and everyone.
No one ever really has ALL their shit figured out ALL at the same time. None of us have reached the end goal, you know, the place where we’ve finally got it ALL together and can finally, once and for all, sit back and rest, satisfied that we got everything just so. Just perfect, with nothing left to fix. Unless you’re talking about death. I guess that qualifies as a resting place.
What I’ve been chasing, even though I know intellectually that it’s not a real place, is a place where I can finally rest because my life is just the way I want it: perfect. THEN I can be happy. I reach for the stars, miserable in the moment because I’m not there, won’t ever be, yet think I should be.
What a frikking waste of time, talent and energy.
No more of that. I don’t want a life of thinking I ought to be some place I’m not.
Do I want to grow and learn? Hell. Yes.
Do I want to face my fears? Oh, yeah, definitely.
Do I want to show up for my life? It’s about damn time. Game on!
Are there things I want to achieve? Of course.
But it’s not about pushing for some unobtainable perfection and arriving at a place where I no longer have problems. It’s not about waiting for something to happen so that I can start life.
This is where I’ve been, in a “someday life,” a “practice life” where the real one starts later…
After I lose the weight, I’ll start dating.
After I earn $100k, I’ll believe I’m a “successful” coach.
After I get another client, I’ll quit my day job.
After I get another 10 clients, I’ll write a book.
There is no living in “someday.” Believing “someday we will be happy if” is the very thing that makes us miserable.
I miss 100% of the shots I don’t take. (So do you, btw.)
I’ve been trying to find the perfect formula for my life; the perfect set of rules to live by so that I never have to be uncomfortable. Life really, really doesn’t work that way.
So the shot I’m taking today that makes me nauseously uncomfortable?
The first step is writing and posting this; e.g., telling the truth about the life I am living.