The Typical Child

Sunia Gibbs Art - Roar

Sometimes I wonder what it might be like to have a “typical” child. A child who lines up with the norms and follows the rules. I wonder how it would feel to post smug memes about how misbehaved children are always the parents’ fault. Always. And to read parenting books and have them work and then pat myself on the back because look at what a great job I’m doing! I wonder […]

It’s All Life

Shanti Grumbine, Asemic Tablets (detail), 2016, ink solvent transfers on Hydrocal, 3 x 3 feet

If you Google “work relationships,” you will find, among a very long list of articles on the subject, a surprising number of seminars and workshops which, for a cool $200, promise to teach you in one day how to not only maximize your effectiveness in the workplace, but how to get along with almost any personality type found in your office. I call bullshit, but I’m going to try to […]

Building a Startup With Your Spouse… Successfully

Pia Silva Wasterval and Steve Wasterval

Whenever people hear that I own a business with my husband, the first thing they usually say is “I could never do that!” followed by the question “How do you do that?!” People are so curious about it that Forbes even did a piece on it! How do you do it? The same way you get to Carnegie Hall: practice! You see, I absolutely love working with my husband. I mean, I liked him […]

#LOVEWINS: Photographer Gia Goodrich Shares Her Bold New Project

gia-goodrich-love-wins

LOVE WINS: Faces of Marriage Equality is a powerful archive of LGBTQ love stories. Conceived by photographer Gia Goodrich, the evolving project makes these loving relationships visible, normal, and accepted. Yes, we’ve come a long way, but the sad truth is that the vast majority of us in the LGBTQ community have felt isolated, shamed and questioned whether or not we’re lovable.There are still people all over the United States and the world, […]

The Most Interested People in the World

Maui Jeep

Being interested in others makes us interesting to them. No one wants to be around the world’s biggest know-it-all or the person who seems perfect all the time, yet many of us confuse being interesting with being interested. Being interesting is all about you. It’s posting your latest photos on Instagram and Facebook and ensuring you announce to everyone how fabulous you are. Being interesting is often all about me, […]

Book Brief: It’s Not You: 27 (Wrong) Reasons You’re Single by Sara Eckel

single fabulous

It’s Not You: 27 (Wrong) Reasons You’re Single by Sara Eckel 2014, TarcherPerigee The Idea Dating advice is horrible. The premise is always “you’re doing it wrong” or “you’re not enough” or “change yourself.” Still, it’s seductive to think that some new piece of advice will be the magic formula that manifests Mr. or Ms. Right and end in happily ever after. Eckel challenges every “reason” we’ve heard before, whether from dating advice books or […]

Featured Artist: Sean Fader

sean fader

American interdisciplinary artist Sean Fader works at the nexus of photography, video, performance, and lived practice. Fader’s 2010 photography series Sup? is a life work that explores projections of the digital self and the disconnect there is with the analog self. For 365 days (beginning in January 2010), Fader trolled online dating and hookup websites to find men who interested him. He looked at their profiles and pre-visualized a portrait […]

Travelers in Love; Not Tourists.

me tat

It has been many years since I traveled to places unknown, but as the details of what I have seen and done in my many journeys begin to fade, it is the feelings I have experienced in those places which remain clear in my memory. As the Danish writer, Peter Hoeg says, “traveling tends to magnify all human emotions.” I don’t remember the name of the castle I was looking […]

Is It Gay-Friendly?

Alex Nuñez, I’m sleeping with my windows open. I wish you would appear. Remind me why I screen my calls and how I wish you lived near- an exercise in opulence, 2016 (Installation shot 1)

When planning a trip when young and naïve, I would ask myself just two questions: 1) can I afford it? and 2) is it going to be fun? For many years, those were really the only things I considered. But as I have aged, come out as a gay man, and have seen the world become a more and more complex place, I have started to ask myself this question […]

The Muppet Factor

muppets

“What really matters is what you like, not what you are like. Books, records, films – these things matter. Call me shallow, but it’s the fucking truth.” -Rob Gordon in High Fidelity It’s advice I often give to my friends when they are considering the pros and cons of a partner or potential partner while stumbling through the minefield that is dating. It becomes especially true when viewed as encompassing […]