Making Concessions: Covid While 40 Weeks Pregnant

toilet paper

I am rarely surprised or frightened by the world around me. When COVID-19 first came out and I kept hearing people worry about it, I kept becoming annoyed by it all and saying, “Yeah yeah yeah. Relax people. Why aren’t we worried about the common flu that kills between 12,000 and 61,000 people every year just in the US? Or heart disease, which kills 650,000 people in the US every year? Or car accidents that kill 35,000 people every year in the US?” I kept saying, “this is a media-driven panic, goddamnit! Turn off your TV!” I heard a very […]

A Challenge for the Curious

playground

  Childhood, for the fortunate among us, often conjures idyllic memories of seemingly infinite stretches of time. Children are insatiably curious and inexhaustible. Early memories are a montage of innocent exploration of new experiences. Catching fireflies, licking frosting from the beater, splashing in a creek or the surf. Saturday morning cartoons, sleeping in, endless games of capture the flag, reading in secret by flashlight- all things many of us long for in a world that seems hellbent on ripping our most precious resource, time, away from us. “May you live in interesting times” is an ancient curse with Chinese roots, […]

Love and Lessons

pregnant wonder woman

I’m not going to make up statistics, but it seems like most people become parents on accident and then improvise as needed, accepting their new role, as humans do, fairly easily. I think I may have a skewed view of that, and the ‘accidents’ just stick with my memory better, but it does seem that more times than not, it’s either a true accident or something along the lines of “well, we weren’t NOT trying.” I love that one. Nothing like a double negative to soften a vulnerable position. When I decided at 39 to get pregnant, I had my […]

February 2020: Legacy

ripple effect

We all have an urge to create. To put our stamp on the world. To leave a legacy. I learned this from Nick, a friend with whom I’d recently reunited. He had become a priest, serving as a hospital chaplain. Sitting in Madison Square Park, we caught up over coffee from the Mud Truck one spring afternoon. I was fascinated by the sheer amount of time he had spent with dying people; more than anyone else I knew at our age. I asked, “What’s the one biggest takeaway you have from being around people at the end of life?” He […]

Lessons Learned Along the Way: A Pregame Intern’s Recap

Pregame Internship

It’s crazy to think that my (almost) 3 months here at Pregame are up, but alas, the time has come. As I am preparing to head back to school, I can’t help but reminisce on these past few months and the unimaginable experience that I have had this summer as Pregame’s intern. Bottom line: I have had the most rewarding, fulfilling, informative, motivating, and fruitful summer and it is almost all by virtue of my time here at Pregame HQ. I just want to thank Pregame for this summer spent growing and learning in an involuntary capacity that I have […]

Everything Went Blank

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Time doesn’t quite seem to be on my side. We always think there will be more time, but in so many ways there won’t be… enough. For the third time in my life, my heart has been broken.  It was a physical aching, stabbing, sharp pain that pierced my chest when I received the text, “You’re getting another sibling.”  “What…,” I responded. His quick reply, “Your boy’s a fiancé!!!” Blank Everything went blank.  I like blank more than went black because it wasn’t black. It was nothingness. I couldn’t feel anything. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t comprehend time, nor feel […]

One Step

5. Pieta (Untitled Art Fair 2018)

Lao Tzu famously wrote that the journey of a thousand miles starts with one step, which despite its face value, “yeah, no shit” philosophy, tells me that even the greatest achievements and distances are realized in the smallest of increments, and that paramount to all, is that there is a start. One must simply start, as small a step as it may be, in order to get from here to there, as great a distance as that may be. I find myself at the precipice of the trip of a lifetime, but much different than any I’ve ever taken before. […]

The State of My Estate

Truong Tran, Broken Mended

My next door neighbor died nine months ago. His name was Tom. We lived across from each other for seven years.  He lived a very quiet, modest life, only owning a beat up car that rarely started, and a few antique furniture pieces. He kept cash hidden under his bed (he didn’t trust big banks), and lived alone in a rent-controlled apartment for thirty years. Over the years, a handful of visitors would knock on his door. I never knew who they were. Most of the faces were new with a few that remained the same. Those same faces must […]

Waking Up to the Wonder of Difference

Objects to Remember You By

I grew up in a half white, half Mexican neighborhood in Roseville, CA. My best friend was Hally (Angelica) Rodriguez. Her parents were Mexican immigrants. Her older brother was a cholo and sold drugs from her house. He was a dick. Her older sister was tough and foul-mouthed and her bangs stuck straight up in a great wall of a tidal wave above her forehead. She was so cool, I barely dared to look at her for all my unworthiness. Her mom, Diana, was a second mother to me, as mine was a single one, working nine to five. My twin […]

Mixed-Race with a White Identity

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What happens when a mixed race child only has a white identity and then goes out into the world? I have spent my entire life straddling many worlds culturally, socially and racially. I am a mixed race woman and I am in a family of transracial adoption. (Transracial adoption means adopting children of a different race). My biological mother was a white woman from Dallas, Texas. My birth father was Afro-Latino from the Dominican Republic, which is a recent discovery. Before last year, I had never seen a photo of my birth father nor knew where he was from. I […]